2.28.2009

The trials of raising a tween

I know I have a LOT to look forward to with raising my girls....mood swings, menstrual cycles, boys, prom dresses, etc....ALL X 3. I... can...hardly...wait. I know that I won't experience anything that any other typical mom of a 10 yr old hasn't. Well, I HOPE not, anyway.

I knew that Katie, my oldest, had not been invited to a birthday/sleepover of a so-called friend. Katie is the one who told me earlier in the wk, and quite honestly, she didn't seem all that upset. I was but not her (so I thought). Yesterday as I was picking Katie and Maddie up from school, there was the birthday clan...yep, all 15 or so of them (including boys) all huddled around jumping, acting giddy and silly like any excited 10 yr old would be. Seriously, there was like 15+ kids!!!! I was so surprised ... but even MORE upset for Katie. It literally broke my heart. There the birthday clan was, smeared right in front of us for all to see who was going (and who wasn't). As we got in the van to go home, I was mad, sad, pissed, livid, but HEARTBROKEN and crushed for her. I tried to talk to her about it...and then the faucet was turned on. The tears came rolling down her sweet face, and then they came down mine. I just don't understand how a child is left out of a huge party when so many were invited--not to mention Katie and this little girl are friends. They play with each other almost everyday at recess. Granted, I don't know this family very well, so hopefully it was a mere overlooked error on their part for accidentally forgetting an invite. I know that happens. But, whatever the case, my little girl was hurt.

I know this will be the beginning of many heartaches to come, and I don't think she needs to be invited to every party ever held in Paoli. I'm not that kind of Mom or person. But, when it's a friend---come on. Where's the love??? I try to learn as I go, and this experience has been no exception. Either try to invite everyone, or don't make such a big huge display of the event for the world to see. Maybe I'm PMS'ing. I don 't know...but it really hit a nerve, and tugged on those heart-strings.

9 comments:

Destini said...

Oh wow, a mother's worst nightmare (well, one of them)! I hope that Katie had a great weekend and that there is some rational explaination for her not being invited, but with tween girls, there probably isn't. So sorry for Katie.

Emily said...

Wow, that is so hard...but it must have meant a lot to Katie to see how heartbroken you were for her. This is another one of those times where you wish you had "Mom Manual" to look up the problem and know exactly how to handle it! Hopefully you all had a fantastic weekend anyway.

Melissa Swartley said...

Oh... I am sooooo not looking forward to these days ahead for all of my three girls! Like Emily said.. there should be a "Mom Manual" for these things! I hope that Katie had a good weekend anyway and hopefully there is a rational explaination behind this. Oh, the heartache! I feel for ya!

The Weisser family said...

Aww that is so awful! I am sorry to say that I am so glad I have boys!they may be more fun to dress up but girls can just be so mean! I remember countless days coming home from school crying my eyes out! It's hard to understand when your that age why people do the things they do(well it's hard as an adult too!) but 98% of the friends you go to school with arent even your friends after you finish school! hope she had a good weekend anyways!

Kim said...

Here is a story for you-In middle school I went through that "awkward" stage-could not do make up right, had a bad perm, the whole deal. The girls would leave me out A LOT. I went to a private high school, got make up lessons and blew out my hair. Had a boyfriend, did fabulous in school and got great grades. A lot of those girls that left me out are now moms too and we have cuaght up on Facebook and even while in college I would see a lot of them throughout town and there was no ill will. It just was typical growing pains and it has not affected me in the least. Teenage girl years are horrible.
Now once high school started and the awkward stage was over, it was on to the real drama-your second best friend once removed took your ex to the homecoming dance, yada yada yada. Are we all still gossipy today???? LOL!
I know it sucks to see your child left out, horrifying actually, but Katie has you as a mom and although there are times in these teen years she will think you a dork, the twenties are when moms become a girl's best friend.

Melisa said...

You totally had me shed a tear. I hope it was just a mistake for Katie. Ashleigh is 6, almost 7 and before long she will be right where Katie is...oh what heartbreaks we have in our futures.

Anonymous said...

bobbi--
i completely understand--- probably the only dad you will find writting to you--- no need for a "mom-manual" or "momual"--- when ingrid and i see something like this coming down the pipe we plan something special with our family and remind them that family is there best friends--- we only allow a few kids for parties never more than 6 other kids besides ours-- so our girls have to leave others out all the time --- so it helps them understand if others leave them out----
the less you getting upset or pissed the better, kids pick up on that and follow your actions later in life---
extra hugs and kisses are the only things needed

brock

Greene Family said...

That's awful! I'm sure it meant a lot to Katie to see how heartbroken you were for. I hope it was just a mistake on the other family's part. What a tough age though. I hope she had a great weekend anyway!

Mandy said...

Oooh that is just awful. I know I would feel just as bad as my child would.When something like that happens I feel guilty and try to make Mike's weekend kind of special. That way he has something great to share with everyone else who went to the party.
I am sorry for Katie. I hope she had a great weekend.