2.12.2009

Birthday Eve Blues....

It's so hard to believe that tomorrow, Ellie,my baby girl, will turn 4 yrs old. I have been so emotional about it today, more so than I ever was with Katie or Maddie. I'd say tomorrow, I'll be even more of a basket case. God only knows how I'll be on Saturday when we will celebrate it with family!!! Are my emotions running rampant because she is my youngest? Maybe. Or could it be that I'm just hormonal right now? Good possibility. But you know why I think I really am sad? Because Ellie is getting older, plain and simple. We're getting closer and closer to the time when she will be attending Elementary School....she will no longer be under my wing, so to speak. I want to protect her from life's bullies. I don't want her to know about the meanies in this world, and I'm sure we'll run into many mainly b/c of her dwarfism. I want her to stay how she is right now. She's my little 'bee,' my lil stinker, my kissing machine, my lil scholar, my everything!! She makes my heart swell with 100% love. But, this is just me being selfish. I want her to grow into the awesome lil lady that she one day will become. She is going to change this world in a larger than life way...THIS I have known from her infancy. She may be little, but her personality is gigantic! I wish she could understand how proud of her I am, but that will come soon enough. How ironic I am wishing this when I don't even want her to turn 4! HA

OK, I need to straighten up and quit acting like a baby...wipe away my tears and face the fact that I can't stop the inevitable. I'm just having a mommy moment, or two.....or three......

4 comments:

Melissa Swartley said...

I think it's the 3rd child syndrome! I feel your tears! I was the same the day befor Sonya (my third) turned 1! I know each year I'm going to feel this way! I think it also has a bit to do with not cuddling with a baby anymore too... I'm going to have to wait until I'm a grandma (God that's forever!) It's tough letting them grow up! I love her nickname "kissing machiene"! Too cute! Happy Birthday Ellie!!!!

Unknown said...

I know the hormonal thing and it is perfectly OK to have a mommy moment or two. Ellie is your baby and will always be your baby. Aidan will always be my baby too. I am behind you by a few months as Aidan will be 4 in May. I go crazy whenever I think about him starting Kindergarten. It was tough for me to let go of him for pre-school. It is hard being a parent. You want to both freeze time yet you want to see them grow into beautiful men and women. Our kids are wonderful people. Happy Birthday Ellie!

Greene Family said...

Happy Birthday Ellie! I hope you are having a fun day celebrating!
I understand your mommy moment . . . I'm always telling Simon that he has to stop growing up so fast on me! Ellie is so adorable, and I can't wait to see pictures of her celebrating! Hopefully, the day is a little easier on you than you thought!

Kim said...

I know it is scary because as our children get older we worry about their dwarfism becoming more of a thing, but I think Ellie has the personality to handle anything. She already has shown that! I say look out world! Ellie is coming! BUt it is ok to be a little sad sometimes. I cannot believe Preston turned three in December. Time goes way too fast!